The Bone Collector
THE BONE COLLECTOR
(Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Ed O'Neill, Queen Latifah)
by Gerry Wang
When I left the theater after watching THE BONE COLLECTOR, I felt
ripped off. Not just from the exorbitant ticket prices or "bargain" popcorn
deal. Not just because a ton of idiot cholos kept hootin and hollering during the movie.
Not because when I used the urinal, the horrible focal angle caused my pants to be
splashed a bit.
No, what ultimately left me feeling short-changed was the stupid ending
to THE BONE COLLECTOR, which came out of left field and destroyed the movie as a whole. So
what, you ask, Not all movies are perfect! I know, but you see, THE BONE COLLECTOR had
potential. It really did. It coulda been SE7EN: The female version. But instead, it was
the NBC-TV MOVIE OF THE WEEK.
Damn, I'm bitter. THE BONE COLLECTOR got part of the formula right, but
not the whole thing. It had a beautiful female protagonist played by Angelina Jolie (Oh
man, I have a crush on her), and it had an equally captivating leading man, played by
Denzel Washington (one of my favorite black actors, right next to Chris Rock). It also had
one of the best serial-killer movie supporting casts I've ever seen.
Ed O'Neill (TV's Al Bundy) plays Denzel's goofy cop-buddy. Queen
Latifah is the hefty nurse who cares for Denzel. There was also a tubby Hispanic guy that
was excellent as another buddy of Denzel's. The camaraderie seemed totally realistic, and
the banter between the gang was hilarious.
THE BONE COLLECTOR is basically a search-for-the-killer type movie,
where the serial murderer kills people in bizarre manners, and leaves clues that explains
how everything ties together. I love these kinds of movies. The quest for the answer to
the riddle is always the best part. In THE BONE COLLECTOR, we get a glimpse into the
fascinating world of forensics.
Angelina Jolie's character is a regular street cop who happens to
stumble onto the scene of the crime. She's later recruited by quadriplegic forensics cop
Denzel Washington. But she's a rookie, and she's also squeamish. But she's got talent, and
Denzel sees it. Angelina becomes his eyes and ears at the crime scene, while he's
bed-laden and looking and microscopic samples and photos and stuff.
The technology they use to allow a quadriplegic to be a detective was
amazing. All Denzel had to do was blow on this thingy, and he can activate anything he
wanted on his bed, including his super computer. Sweet......
So you see, THE BONE COLLECTOR had all the makings of a great serial
killer movie. I loved Angelina Jolie as a reluctant heroine. I loved Denzel as a paralyzed
patient who's mind is sharper than anyone else's. I loved the goofy supporting cast who
act gay, yet can identify and sort of hair sample just from sticking it under a
microscope. This was a real forensics team!
But alas, the revelation of the killer totally killed the movie. You
were like, who the fuck is this prick? He/She's a killer? No way! The writers of the movie
tried to hard to be unpredictable, but only succeeded in all of a sudden making this movie
turn sour. That was pretty damn unpredictable.
THE BONE COLLECTOR is a fun movie, and sans the climax, it is a great
piece of acting and suspenseful plotting. Angelina is a hottie, and I'll be looking for
more of her work. She was in GIA, an acclaimed made-for-cable movie that no one watched.
She was also in various other small movies. She'll be the in the upcoming 60's rebellion
flick GIRL, INTERRUPTED with Winona Ryder, so that should be a delicious babe pairup.
Damn, she's gorgeous. So versatile. Can do the glamour look, or the
hippie look, or the grungy look, and she'd still look good. Those lips...... I'm
Babe-o-meter: 4- (Angelina Jolie is a fox!)