I STILL Know
What you Did Last Summer
(By Gerry Wang)
I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
(Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brandy, Mekhi Phifer)
by Gerry Wang
_____Did you ever watch
a movie that you know is bad, that you know critics will
universally trash, and you act politically correct by
saying it sucked? Yet you enjoyed it deep down inside.
For me I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER was one such
guilty pleasure. It definitely was a satisfactory sequel.
_____It picks up where
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER left off. Jennifer Love
Hewitt (I don't remember her character's name. Shows how
much this movie deeply moved me, huh? Oh wait, it was
Julie.) is feeling guilty over her having killed Ben
Willis. Or did she. Anyways, she still feels guilty, and
she has nightmares and horrifying flashbacks about her
ordeal a year ago. We don't care. She just looks so damn
fine that her words go in one ear and out the other.
_____That's one thing I
loved about this movie. I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST
SUMMER has plenty of gratuitous Jennifer Love
Hewitt-cleavage shots. I mean, it's so obvious. They have
her bending over and showing off her breasts, they have
her robe soaked so you can see nipple, they have her
wearing a bikini in a self-tanning machine. It's
fantastic. That's one of the problems I had w/ this
recent influx of horror movies. Gone is the unwarranted
nudity. The trend is to have teenagers doing stupid
things and saying really hard vocabulary words. Sheesh.
_____Back to the plot,
Julie and her roommate Brandy win a trip to the Bahamas.
So they go, and they invite a friend each. Julie wants
her boyfriend Ray to go, but he has to work. So she asks
Will, an admirer to go. Brandy brings her horny-ass
boyfriend Mekhi Phifer, in a hilarious role. He and
Brandy lightened up the morose mood w/ their ebonic porno
talk. Funny stuff!
_____Well, they're at
the Bahamas, and then the fish hook-slashing murders
begin again. Seems like there's a murderer on the loose,
and he/she wants Julie. And alas! There is a terrible
storm while the group is at the Bahamas. What a
_____So the rest of the
movie is just a slash-fest, and there are some nice
scares and thrills. And look for something. Notice how
Brandy's ass is so humongous. Oh my goodness. It took up
the whole frame. I swear. She got back. Major back.
_____So go watch this
movie. It's got cheap scares and it shows off plenty of
Jennifer Love Hewitt's body. Plus the plot doesn't make
absolutely no sense like other sequels. It was much
easier to comprehend that I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST
SUMMER. I sure missed Sarah Michelle Gellar though. Buffy
and Jennifer Love Hewitt was an awesome combination.
_____Oh yeah, I wanna
brag about something. "What is the capital of
Brazil" was the question Brandy and Julie had to
answer to win the trip. I just wanna say I got it CORRECT
the first time. Heh heh. Carmen Sandiego baby.
Whether-you-should-bring-a-chick-o-meter: 3 (Girls love
to huddle when they're scared. Too bad in my case I'm the
one screaming and huddling.)
*See 9/29/'98 video pick of the week for