ENTRAPMENT
(Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames, Will Patton)
By: Gerry Wang

    Ok, I'll admit it. The reason I wanted to watch ENTRAPMENT is because I became enraptured by Catherine Zeta-Jones' ass while watching the trailer. You know, when she ducking under the lasers and we see her tight, spandexed buttocks. Oh yeah.......

    I thought the rest of this movie would stink, besides Catherine Zeta-Jones ass shots. And trust me, there are plenty of nice angles of her ass and crotch areas. But I thought it would totally suck because well, Sean Connery just ain't as nimble nowadays as his old 007 self. I also felt the title was rather forgettable, and its premise would be kinda implausible.

    But I found myself enjoying its dopey attempts at suspense. At first the movie felt really stupid and I wanted to turn to the girl next to me and just waste some time making out. (Ha ha yeah right. Why the hell would I waste 5 bucks like that?) But then the plot twists eventually made everything make sense, and I became involved.

    The premise is basically comprised of a couple of heists, and these heists are absolutely spectacular. Great stunt work, great suspense. I actually found my heart beating faster as Catherine Zeta-Jones had to deftly maneuver blindly through lasers, racing against the clock and the watch guard. Pretty dope.

    I also liked how Y2K was integrated into one of the heists. It involves stealing HUGE quantities of money from all over the world. Totally possible in real life. In fact, I think I shall try. =) You heard it here first. I'll be known as the Yellow Bandit.

    But the best part of ENTRAPMENT was the logistics of pulling off a heist. How you have to scout the site, study the blueprints, arrange synchronizations, know the routes of navigation, gather up the necessary equipment, plus how you have to train and practice. You can't just go and do a heist on your first try. You have to build models and perfect your timing and technique. Cool stuff. The best part is the gadgetry involved in pulling off a heist. In ENTRAPMENT we see a wide variety of cat burgler gizmos. One of the coolest ones is the device that lifts off an entire skyscraper window pane and then puts it back in place, like nothing ever happened. Sweet stuff man.

    What killed ENTRAPMENT for me was the lame chemistry between Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones. No sparks at all. Only a senior citizen and a Hispanic chick flirting w/ each other. Totally sick. We even get an unintended Bob Dole-like erectile dysfunction joke. Sick man. This is a movie that inadvertently advertises for Viagra.

    I also didn't like the abundance of plot twists that seemed kinda arbitrary. Like they felt like throwing it in just to please the test audiences. I would've liked the film to be darker and nastier. After all, this is the underground world of superthieves. Not the kind that break into a house w/ a crowbar and steal blenders.

    Ving Rhames and Will Patton are also horribly underused. They're just there as casting fluff. They didn't have to waste the budget hiring expensive talent. Well-trained chimps could've done an equally good job. Ving Rhames comes off  as scum, and Will Patton (of ARMAGEDDON fame) just  stands there in a ridiculous mustache and bitches and moans.

    So I would recommend ENTRAPMENT to all Catherine Zeta-Jones Ass fans and all fans of cool MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-like heists. I think the heists in ENTRAPMENT are even more complex and well scripted than the ones in MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, actually. I thoroughly enjoyed them.

    But someone other than Sean Connery would've done the trick to improve the chemistry. Plus a script touch-up by a good writer. Other than those two changes, ENTRAPMENT is a tight movie. Catherine Zeta-Jones' ass should be enough reason for you to at least consider renting ENTRAPMENT when it's on video.

**/4
Babe-o-meter: 4- Greek Goddesses (CZJ can play a Greek goddess alright. Did I mention how tight her ass is?)