Best of T.V. this Season
(By Gerry Wang)
GERRY'S DREAM COAXIAL LINE-UP
by Gerry Wang
_____I know you guys
are busy as hell getting worked to the bone by your high
school teachers. So you probably don't get to spend much
time in front of the tube, except for sports. However, me
being the lazy college dude, I watch aplenty of
television, so I will recommend some shows for you
potential graduates who will all of a sudden find
yourselves with a lot of free time after high school. So
here's a run down of the best shows, in my opinion, on
1.) THE SIMPSONS (Sundays 8PM, Fox)- The funniest
animated sitcom ever, The Simpsons never seem to have an
episode w/o laughs. The writing for the show is caustic
and satirical, which is what makes this show click with
the funny bone.
2.) PINKY & THE BRAIN (Weekdays 3PM, WB)- The
chemistry between these two lab mice is absolutely
hilarious. I love Brain's hellbent determination at
conquering the earth w/ some hairball scheme, and I love
Pinky's airheaded gesticulations and ravings. I laugh
till I cry sometimes when I watch.
3.) ANIMANIACS (Weekdays 2:30PM, WB)- More oriented
towards little kids, but chock-full of jokes and
allegories only grown-ups can understand. The best
episode was the spoof of The Power Rangers. Runner-up has
to be the Michelangelo/Sistine Chapel episode.
4.) HISTERIA (Weekdays 3:30PM, WB)- Finally, a cartoon
that educates you as well as entertains you. Each episode
takes a chapter out of history, and puts a humorous spin
on it, while keeping the facts intact and teaching the
kids. A great show. The best episode was the Seinfeldian
re-enactment of the Civil War, w/ George (Costanza) being
General George McClellan.
5.) KING OF THE HILL (Tuesdays 8PM, Fox)- This show is
like The Truman Show. It almost feels as if we're
watching real people in their everyday lives. This is how
authentic King of the Hill feels in its portrayal of
Texas' redneck suburbia. The characters feel realistic,
and Hank is an excellent example of the average American.
Witness this conversation between Hank and his wife Peggy
in the Thanksgiving episode, where Hank's divorced
parents come to dinner, and Hank's sour ol' father keeps
bagging on Hank's mom:
you defended Troy Aikman more than you defended your
dropped passes, Peggy, all Troy can do is get it
there." (skirting the subject)
6.) SOUTH PARK (Wednesdays 10PM, Comedy Central)- These 4
raunchy little kids provide loads of entertainment as
they innocently get into shenanigans and observe society.
My favorite character is Cartman, the obese grouchy kid,
whose screeching voice alone makes me crack up. And
lovable little Kenny gets a gruesome death in each
episode, that poor kid. While this show started off with
a bang, the shows of late have been less than
overwhelming. The best episode is the pilot, involving an
alien anal probe.
1.) SEINFELD (syndicated)- Although off the air, Seinfeld
will live on forever in repeats, which are still better
than any of the crap the networks put out these days. The
quirky nuances of each cast member will never be
duplicated, and will never be forgotten. Definitely the
best comedy of all time.
2.) MARRIED W/ CHILDREN (syndicated)- Also off the air,
this decadent sitcom never lost its ability to be
outrageous and bawdy. Al Bundy and his 4 touchdowns in
one game may not be the most cherished character in
television history, but is definitely one of the most
unforgettable. Christina Applegate is really purdy, and
we get to see her grow up and mature into a fine ass
piece of woman. Yum-my.
3.) FRASIER (Thursdays 9PM, NBC)- The two psychiatrist
brothers with haughty accents and white collar tastes
make this show one of the best on television, and the
Emmys recognize this every year. Just watching these two
brothers fussing over not wanting to wait in the stand-by
line at an opera because it looks bad is riotous.
4.) THAT 70'S SHOW (Sundays 8:30PM, Fox)- Oh my goodness,
I haven't laughed so hard at a ridiculous sitcom since,
you guessed it, Married w/ Children. The goofy parody of
the 70's seems dead on, yet it also makes you wonder what
ever possessed Americans to wear bell bottoms with tight
shirts. That foreign kid with the accent has some of the
funniest lines I've ever heard.
5.) UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER (Sundays 9PM, WB)- Two words.
Nikki Cox. Oh my nut she is so fine. Those are real,
baby. This is from the creators of Married W/ Children,
and it retains the irreverent mischief of its
predecessor. But it's not as well written. Don't worry,
looking at Nikki Cox in a low cut mini-skirt is worth
your 30 minutes. Awesome pairs of legs and
breasts............. in a bucket of fried chicken (ha ha
Rice, can't get me there).
1.) X-FILES (Sundays 9PM, Fox)- This is my favorite show
of all time. I've watched it since Episode 1, and it's
only gotten better and better. Each show promises a few
scares and thrills, and the sexual tension between agents
Mulder and Scully somehow makes this show even better.
Althought primarily about exterrestrials and UFOs, there
are also shows devoted to the paranormal such as demons
and haunted houses, which keeps the show fresh and
entertaining. Just a tremendously fun one hour.
2.) DAWSON'S CREEK (Wednesdays 8PM, WB)- I'll have to
admit, when Dawson's Creek first came out, I was among
the skeptics who blasted the show due to its
over-reliance on big vocabulary words and underaged sex.
But as I watched it in its second season, the show has
grown on me and now I am sorry I missed the first season.
The characters are easy to love, easy to hate, but the
most alluring part of the show is that we, as teenagers
(I am still technically a teen), can partially relate to
what Dawson, Jen, Joey, Pacey, and Andy go through.
Dawson's Creek actually illicited real emotion from me.
3.) HYPERION BAY (Monday 9PM, WB)- Another fine show from
Warner Brothers, this show is unfairly getting low
ratings. C'mon folks! Watch this show. You will
definitely relate to it. It's about a high school outcast
who makes it big as a computer company honcho, and brings
the company back to his hometown to revive its economy.
The way the show portrays the saying, Y"ou can never
really go home again", is heart-wrenching. Dennis,
the Bill Gates type computer nerd, has to face resentment
from his older brother, the wrath of his former bully,
plus the rigors of work. When you watch, notice how all
the women are good looking. They're not supermodels, but
they're pretty and cute. What a dream town.
4.) NYPD BLUE (Tuesdays 10PM, ABC)- I don't watch this
show much, because it conflicts with my homework-doing
time, but whenever I do watch, I find myself enjoying it
a whole lot. Its gritty portrayal of a NYPD precinct
seems realistic, like they're really cops going on the
beat and doing investigations and interrogations. There
are excellent performances from the whole cast. Kim
Delaney looks really beautiful. I can't say cute or
pretty, because she's attractive in a sophisticated kind
_____And there you have
it. Those are my favorite TV shows. I realize that I've
left out quite a few popular programs, but that means the
ones I did list really have a high place in my heart.
Shows like FRIENDS and ER are good shows, but not good
enough for me to recommend to you guys. I also left out
shows that deserve at least an honorable mention, such as
MARTIAL LAW, starring fatso kung fu star Sammo Hung. Just
watching a portly fellow roundhouse people like a
whirlybird is pure eye candy.