THE GERRY WANG RESTAURANT GUIDE FOR BROKE-ASS STUDENTS IN THE LOS ANGELES AREA
by Gerry Wang

_____If you're like me, then you go to school and when you open your wallet, there are cobwebs. When you get the mail, all you see are dreaded credit card statements. Yes, life sucks.

_____You see, we all gotta go out and socialize. We can't just stay at home everyday. And when we do go out, we eat. For some reason, every social rendevous involves the consumption of food in a non-home environment. It's a fact of life. Whether it be something cheap like McDonald's, or something expensive like........... Spago's or whatevers, eating out costs a shitload of money.

_____This is why I am anti-girlfriend. I am such a hypocrit. Anyways........

_____Here is the 1999 Edition of the Gerry Wang Restaurant Guide For Broke-ass Students In The Los Angeles Area. I have compiled a list of places to eat, which in my opinion are not too too too expensive, and have good quality food. These restaurants are not too far, except maybe a few of them, and I am willing to take suggestions from you readers to amend this list. Oh yeah, tax and tip are included when necessary.

_____There are no Chinese restaurants where everyone shares the dishes collectively, since it is highly implausible that students would go to them. Likewise there will be no mention of pizza places, since we all get deliveries and will never actually enter the restaurant.
So here's the list, broken down by how much your financial resources will be sucked out from under you:

CHEAPER PRICE RANGE: ($1-$5 per person, including beverage)
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1.) JACK-IN-THE-BOX-- Jack-In-The-Box, besides its hilarious commercials, offers excellent fast food for very low prices. There is an entire menu of sub-$1 items, so check that out.
*What I recommend getting: 2 tacos for 99 cents, 99 cent Jumbo Jack, 99 cent Chicken Sandwich; if you really want to indulge, get the Sourdough Jack or Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger.

2.) IN-N-OUT-- Great burgers, but I do have one complaint. Why are the patties so thin? Are they supposed to melt in your mouth??
*What I recommend getting: Double Double Combo, or Cheesburger Combo; you can order it cooked "Animal-Style" and they'll dice and grill the onions for you.

3.) TACO BELL-- I know it's pseudo-Mexican food, but it is still quite tasty, and has a wide selection. I want to kill that chihuahua!
*What I recommend getting: 99 cent Gorditas, Nachos, Burrito & Taco Supremes. I'd ignore the regular kind. For a few cents more you can get tomatoes and sour cream with the Supremes, plus a larger size.

4.) 7-ELEVEN-- Yes, you can actually eat at 7-Eleven, although you may not get full. But it is a great place to snack.
*What I recommend getting: Self Serve Nachos- make sure you drown the chips in chili and cheese. It's all-you-can-heap!; Regular Bite Hot Dogs- also self serve; Slurpees- I like the Coke Flavor mixed with Wild Cherry, for a Cherry Coke Slurpee.

5.) POPEYE'S CHICKEN-- If you go to the one on the corner of Atlantic and Valley in Alhambra, you can get a leg, thigh, and biscuit for 99 cents, and if the cashier is stupid enough, he'll/she'll let you buy more than one order.
*What I recommend getting: 99 Cent Deal; They have crawdads, but I haven't had the nads to try it. I'd appreciate feedback from anyone who's tried em!

MEDIUM PRICE RANGE ($6-$10 per person, including beverage)
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1.) KFC BUFFET-- I know there are a lot around, but the only one I can remember is the one in Alhambra/San Gabriel on Las Tunas, past San Gabriel Blvd. Bring your gluttonous friends!
*What I recommend getting: Ignore the salad bar. It is the same one from last year. Get as many pieces of chicken as you can, from all the different flavors. Plus there should be unlimited nachos.

2.) HOMETOWN BUFFET-- Eat till you puke, then go back and eat some more! There is one in Rosemead, on Rosemead Blvd., as well as another in Montebello, on Wilcox & Via Campo.
*What I recommend getting: Fried chicken and desserts. Their cheesecake is nice and fluffy, and their sundae bar is excellent. On specific nights of the week, you get special items like ribs. Pay attention.

3.) ALFREDO'S/ALBERTO'S-- This is the same franchise, but w/ different names. Alfredo's is on Santa Anita Ave., after you exit the 10E. Alberto's is in Newport Beach, so that's kinda far.
*What I recommend getting: Chips & Guacamole- Not only the best in LA, but probably this quadrant of the universe; Carne Asada burrito, or Carne Asada chimichanga, which you have to specially order.

4.) ISLAND'S-- There's one on Foothill in Pasadena, before Rosemead Blvd. This is a restaurant, not fast food.
*What I recommend getting: Everyone should split a couple orders of Endless chips & salsa- my friend single-handedly got our money's worth, that pig; basket of fries- nice and seasoned; burgers- don't waste time w/ the chicken sandwiches. Their burgers are so big you have to cut them in half to eat them. They'll provide the knife.

5.) VARIOUS CAFES-- There are a ton of these Hong Kong cafes, and they all pretty much serve the same things. However, some have better service than others. I recommend JJ's, on the corner of Garvey & Ynez.
*What I recommend getting: Whatever lunch/dinner special you like. You get a drink and soup with it. I usually get steak or some other meat dish, but it's entirely up to you.

6.) PHO 79-- I usually go to the one on Main & Stoneman, but goddamn that place is filthy. However, the food and drinks are good.
*What I recommend getting: Any Vermicelli bowl- you can decide from charbroiled pork, egg rolls, shrimp paste, but they're all delicious. It comes in a bowl and you just pour the Viet fish sauce all over it; Pho Rare Beef Noodle Soup- this is what the restaurant was named after.

7.) SIZZLER-- Ok, this will involve a conspiracy, and a lack on conscience and ethics. In your party, there has to be at least one person that gets the unlimited salad bar. That person must get a lot of plates, and the other people in the party can buy the plates off that person. The waiters usually don't notice.
*What I recommend getting: Sirloin steak- kinda small, but it's sufficient, especially when you have a free unlimited salad bar; Burgers- their burgers are huge in height; salad bar- not just salad, you also get soup, dessert, fried chicken wings, onion rings, taco bar...... plus you can steal the Fruit Loops from the Kids' Section.

MUCHO EXPENSIVE PRICE RANGE ($11-$20 per person, including beverage)
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1.) BLACK ANGUS-- My favorite American restaurarnt. Good food, good service, good atmosphere.
*What I recommend getting: Wait till you see a commercial for Black Angus' special Prime Rib Deal for 2. You get two 12 oz. prime rib dinners, plus a Wagon Wheel Platter of appetizers which is a sample of all the appetizers, and last but not least you get some sort of delicious dessert you can share. All for less than 30 bucks, usually around $25-$28.

2.) TAIKO-- This is in Irvine, but it is the best Japanese restaurant I've ever been to. No, it's not like Yoshinoya. This is real Japanese food.
*Directions: Take I-5 Southbound, exit Culver and turn right. Then make a left on Walnut, and proceed down to Jeffrey, and it will be on the right, in a plaza.
*What I recommend getting: Get the "long list," rather than using the standard issue menu. It's got the items from the sushi bar, which are the only things worth the money; get the Ninja Roll, which is a Deep Fried Soft Shelled Crab sushi, and the California Roll with rice on the outside. You won't be disappointed.

3.) MARIE CALLENDAR'S-- Only marginally made the list. Too expensive, and too little food. But still, nice and quaint and the service is good.
*What I recommend getting: Zucchini sticks, pot pies, buffalo wings, potato skins, lasagna, fettucini

_____So there's my restaurant guide, for you students. There's no Souplantation since you'll eat that crap every stinkin day in the dorms. Hey, I wanna see some messages from people who have actually used the guide. First person to go to all 15 restaurants gets props! I gotta go! My mouth is watering all over the keyboard.........=)