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(By Rice World Staff)

by None, Rice, Gerry

     Remember what I said about that cycle thing last week? Forget about it. I might as well tag the ASS picture on my forehead week in and week out, as I continuously show my inability to understand football and the way the games are played. Dammit. It's either that or I manage to get robbed in two or three games each week. Okay, enough self-pitying. Week 9, a new week for redemption, or yet another week in which I am once again propelled to the bottom of the rankings? There are many interesting games this week, but none more so than the clash of the titans. Tennessee @ Miami will be a doozy. Without further ado, let's unveil our ASS OF THE WEEK (hint: it's me again!):

Wins Losses Locks Back
None 75 39 6-2 ---
Gerry 67 47 4-4 8
Rice 65 49 3-5 10
kurupt 9 5 1-0 N/A


Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4
Gerry 10-5 - 9-6 - 8-6 + 11-3 +
None 9-6 + 10-5 + 9-5 + 12-2 -
Rice 8-7 + 11-4 - 8-6 - 10-4 -
kurupt N/A N/A N/A 9-5 +
Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8
Gerry 7-7 - 4-10 + 10-4 + 8-6 -
None 6-8 + 9-5 + 10-4 - 10-4 +
Rice 7-7 + 5-9 + 9-5 - 7-7 -
kurupt N/A N/A N/A N/A


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broncossmall.gif (830 bytes)  vs  chargerssmall.gif (1351 bytes)
Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers
Gerry: San Diego
None: San Diego

Rice: Denver

None: What the hell is wrong with me? Seriously though, I think this Chargers team can rebound from last week's disaster in Arrowhead. Jim Harbaugh's gonna start, and if he plays decent, the Chargers have a chance. Besides, wide receiver Ed MaCaffrey is out, adding only another guy to the injured list. Go Lightning Bolt!

Gerry: Traditional rivalry, except SD can't score. Denver has been playing great, but that's due to Greasy Griese. The Chargers' D will punish him for coming to their house.

Rice: One can only wonder how much the SD defense can stomach losing even though they've been fabulous. This week they'll slack because it's Denver. Griese rules.

bengalssmall.gif (1186 bytes)  vs  seahawkssmall.gif (644 bytes)
Cincinnati Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks
Gerry: Seattle
None: Seattle

Rice: Seattle

None: Seattle. Cincinnati should take their football team, wrap it up in a tight little package, shine her up real nice, turn that sonofabitch sideways, and stick it straight up your Candy Ass! If you smell what the Rock is cooking? Heh heh.

Gerry: Seattle proved they can play w/ the big boys, but I wasn't too impressed w/ them. It was Brett Favre who won the game for them. But Cincy's cake. Stinky cake.

Rice: Give the Seahawks respect. Their chemistry is clicking now. Joey who?

steelerssmall.gif (794 bytes)  vs  49erssmall.gif (1927 bytes)
Pittsburgh Steelers @ San Francisco 49ers
Gerry: San Francisco
None: San Francisco

Rice: Pittsburgh

None: Hell, what's wrong with me? Another upset. San Fran's offense has been decent/good all year, and though Pittsburgh has built a little momentum, I still have a weird feeling about this one. Take the 49ers on a hunch.

Gerry: The Niners are switching to shotgun. That's all they need to beat the Steelers. Just buy time for Garcia to throw to his awesome receivers.

Rice: The 49er receivers look confused game in and game out. Both are coming off of a bye week. This will be the Steelers' test to see if they're rebounding back.

titanssmall.gif (1459 bytes)   vs  dolphinssmall.gif (1350 bytes)
Tennessee Titans @ Miami Dolphins
Gerry: Tennessee
None: Miami

Rice: Tennessee

None: By far, the most intriguing matchup of Week 9. Can Miami's defense play well enough again? Against a young qb like Steve McNair, whose second half performance against the Rams last week showed his inconsistency, I think so. Even without Dan Marino, this defense is dominant, and their offense is decent. Go Fish.

Gerry: Wow, what a tough game. Tennessee is too complete of a team for the Dolphins to stop. Miami can only kick FGs.

Rice: Miami wins on the virtue of their special teams. Tennessee has McNair back, and they shut down the most prolific offense in the league. Eddie George will break out of his semi-slump this game if he gets his carries.

cowboyssmall.gif (1058 bytes)  vs  vikingssmall.gif (959 bytes)
Dallas Cowboys @ Minnesota Vikings
Gerry: Dallas
None: Minnesota

Rice: Minnesota

None: Troy Aikman won't play this game, and I think that settles that. Besides, the Vikings are getting back on track, and Deion isn't playing well. Carter, Moss, George, etc, should handle them at home.

Gerry: Dallas will lose, but I'm picking them anyways. Deion against Randy Moss will be a good match up to watch.

Rice: Jeff George has been relying on sure-handed Cris Carter, instead of flashy Randy Moss. That is their formula to success. Randall Cunningham spent too much time trying to appease Moss that he lost sight of one of the best receivers to ever play the game.

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Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns
Gerry: Cleveland
None: Cleveland

Rice: Cleveland

None: Cleveland got a nice first victory over the Saints last week, and I think they'll take their momentum back into the Dawg Pound. You know those guys are gonna go nuts against their former team, the now-Baltimore Ravens, deprived of an offense. I think upset #2 is in store this week for Tim Couch.

Gerry: Things are looking up for the Browns. They hailed Mary and she answered. Revenge on Modell, finally.

Rice: Watch for the Dawg Pound to be rocking w/ energy!

chargerssmall.gif (779 bytes)  vs  chiefssmall.gif (1052 bytes)
Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts
Gerry: Indianapolis
None: Indianapolis

Rice: Kansas City

None: Indianapolis showed me a lot against the Cowboys last week, and this week will be another huge test at home against the Chiefs. The Chiefs destroyed the Chargers 34-0 last week at Arrowhead, but going on the road against a hot Colts team will be tough. This one is a pick'em, basically depending on how Manning reacts to the blitzing d, but I think he's a mature qb. Pick him.

Gerry: The Big 3 of the future. Should blow KC away if James does well. Harrison had just what I predicted last week. This week I predict 100 yards.

Rice: KC isn't at home, but Indy will suffer a letdown.

ramssmall.gif (699 bytes)  vs  titanssmall.gif (1018 bytes)
Arizona Cardinals @ New York Jets
Gerry: NY Jets
None: NY Jets

Rice: NY Jets

None: This game is ugly. Both teams have sucked this year, and now both are missing their starting quarterbacks, with Jake Plummer & Vinny Testaverde. I don't really know how to pick this one, but I guess I'll do what Rice always does. They're playing at home, they've got coach Bill Parcells, and they've got a stronger d. I guess I'll go with the Jets.

Gerry: No Plummer = no win for Cardinals. Jets are coming off a bye, and Ray Lucas is healed, but they're going w/ Mirer, who has to win to save his job.

Rice: Dammit, they've gotta win this won at least! Every week I pick them, and every game they are so close to winning. Argh!

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Buffalo Bills @ Washington Redskins
Gerry: Washington
None: Washington

Rice: Buffalo

None: Hah...I hate picking this game, but I already faced the inevitable. Flutie has struggled mightily without Eric Moulds, and Brad Johnson and his receiving corps have dominated everyone not named Dallas this year. The Bills have a weak secondary, and they'll be exposed. Washington in a blowout.

Gerry: This will be a massacre. Buffalo NEEDS to run against Washington, or suffer the consequences. Just too much Redskin firepower.

Rice: The Bills will get slaughtered, but I don't care. I'm not going against my babies. Heh heh... =)

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Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers
Gerry: Green Bay
None: Green Bay

Rice: Green Bay

None: Green Bay hasn't shown me much the past three weeks or so, but they still play at Lambeau. Against a weak defense like the Bears, I think Favre can get back on track. I guarantee you this: They won't have like 7 turnovers like they did last Monday Night. However, I think Chicago will make a good game out of this.

Gerry: Brett Favre is 100x the QB that he was last Monday. Look for him to bounce back from that debacle.

Rice: Chicago is tough, but Favre is sweatin' to redeem himself from Monday night, in which he tried TOO hard.

dolphinssmall.gif (1791 bytes)  vs  raiderssmall.gif (1530 bytes)
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Atlanta Falcons
Gerry: Jacksonville
None: Jacksonville

Rice: Jacksonville

None: This Falcons team finally showed signs of life, beating Carolina last week. Jacksonville has a much better defense, and basically that's why they're 6-2. Their offense is not great, but it has enough to get the job done. I don't know why, but I smell upset...I'll pick the Jaguars anyways.

Gerry: Atlanta will actually put up a fight. I haven't dismissed them. They're warriors. But Jax is too much. Too much D, and Fred Taylor is back. Watch out now.

Rice: The Jaguars now have a running game, but Brunell's been down a bit lately. Don't matter. Falcons suck this year.

vikingssmall.gif (1892 bytes)  vs  broncossmall.gif (999 bytes)
Philadelphia Eagles @ Carolina Panthers
Gerry: Carolina
None: Philadelphia

Rice: Philadelphia

None: A very interesting matchup. The Eagles have actually been extremely competitive, while the Panthers have not looked well. Since the Panthers screwed me over last week, plus I smell upset, I'll take the Eagles on the road.

Gerry: This one is tough. Philly was robbed last week, but Carolina underachieved last week. They're at home, and got a week of healing, so they should win.

Rice: Upset special. The Eagles suck, but are surprisingly gritty.

bucssmall.gif (1751 bytes)  vs  lionssmall.gif (559 bytes)
St. Louis Rams @ Detroit Lions
Gerry: St. Louis
None: St. Louis

Rice: Detroit

None: The Rams did not look bad last week in the loss against the Titans. They made the neccessary adjustments at halftime, outscored them 21-3, and should have had the tying field goal. Detroit has quietly rolled to a 5-2 record, but I still don't think anyone can stop this Rams offense for 60 minutes. It didn't happen last week ,and it won't happen this week.

Gerry: If you were to ask me who was the surprise story of the year, I'd say it was Detroit. No Barry, no Herman, no big deal. But they won't beat the Rams, who should coast now.

Rice: The Detroit Lions are overachievers driven by their desire to prove they don't need Barry. I don't know why the hell I'm picking them, but I am and I can't help myself. Doh...

seahawkssmall.gif (866 bytes)  vs  packerssmall.gif (691 bytes)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints
Gerry: Tampa Bay
None: Tampa Bay

Rice: Tampa Bay

None: Oh, who gives a rat's ass? It's 10:19, and I've been playing 6 hours of games. Uh...Tampa Bay's defense should only add to the misery of the Saints, who can't score anyways. Zeier, as long as he stays short, should be fine. Something like 6-3 or anything ugly like that.

Gerry: Last week had to have been a fluke. Right? Eric Zeier's not really a dud, right? Is this some kinda bad dream? The Bucs will bounce back. Ricky ain't going nowhere.

Rice: The Bucs totally won the stats game last week. Zeier proves he's more of a QB than Trent will ever be. The team just has to get used to its new leader. Nickerson & Sapp will stuff Ricky Williams like a dead cat.

jetssmall.gif (736 bytes) steelerssmall.gif (1522 bytes) 49erssmall.gif (1436 bytes)
{ Bye week }
Rice: FINAL COMMENTS- Holy toledo, I will either score big this week, or suck it up big time. For some reason, I don't feel very optimistic. Oh well, how far can I sink anyways? Heh heh... By the way, if Buffalo can pull out a victory against the Redskins, it'll be all worth it!


None's LOCK OF THE WEEK: Cleveland Browns -> Cleveland vs Cleveland; emotions are high, fans are nuts, and the stadium will be rocking. Everyone hates Art Modell, and I think the Browns will come out for their city with a vengeance.
Gerry's LOCK OF THE WEEK: San Francisco 49ers -> It's about time I exploit our power rankings gauge for locks. =)
Rice's LOCK OF THE WEEK: Denver Broncos -> SD will come after Brian Griese, but if he can withstand their blitzes, this will be a big confidence game for him.