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(By Rice World Staff)

by None, Rice, Gerry

     Guess who's Ass of the Week this time? Seems like a cycle huh? Once everybody got their chance to be Ass, it's my turn again. Sheesh. I'm a 9-5 ass... now that's a bitter pill if I must say so myself. Okay, putting my bitter feelings aside, week 8 promises to be one of the most dynamic weeks in football. Rams will have their first test against the relatively steady Titans. Dallas at Indy, Seattle at Green Bay... awesome matchups. Is football the best sport to watch in the world? Gimme a hell yeah if you agree! Har har... sorry, I've been watching a lot of wrestling lately. Better shuddap now before I make an ass out of myself. Oh wait... too late. Heh heh... okay, okay, without further ado:

Wins Losses Locks Back
None 65 35 5-2 ---
Gerry 59 41 4-3 6
Rice 58 42 3-4 7
kurupt 9 5 1-0 N/A


Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4
Gerry 10-5 - 9-6 - 8-6 + 11-3 +
None 9-6 + 10-5 + 9-5 + 12-2 -
Rice 8-7 + 11-4 - 8-6 - 10-4 -
kurupt N/A N/A N/A 9-5 +
Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8
Gerry 7-7 - 4-10 + 10-4 + TBA
None 6-8 + 9-5 + 10-4 - TBA
Rice 7-7 + 5-9 + 9-5 - TBA
kurupt N/A N/A N/A TBA


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Buffalo Bills @ Baltimore Ravens
Gerry: Baltimore
None: Buffalo

Rice: Buffalo

None: The Bills needed a game that they could get their injured back and relax, while cruising for a win. Welcome to Baltimore.

Gerry: Yeah yeah, I know I swore I'd pick against Beefalo out of spite, but this week I have to like Baltimore's chances. Realistically. The Ravens' blowout loss last Thursday to KC came as a result of QB Stoney Case's mistakes that led to like 3 defensive TDs. This week Tony Banks replaces Stoney, and Baltimore should finally get a passing game going. Buffalo has no ground game and should be forced to the air. Peerless Price makes all the difference here. Not gonna be as easy a game as you think.

Rice: I don't believe Baltimore has a chance to win this week. Buffalo may have looked bad for the past 2 weeks, but this week, they are playing the worst team since their week 3 slaughter of Philadelphia. Baltimore's victories have come from tight squeakers. I expect the Bill's defense to step up and shut down their weak offense.

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Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons
Gerry: Carolina
None: Carolina

Rice: Atlanta

None: Atlanta finally showed some signs of life last week against Pittsburgh, as a limping-yet-playing Chris Chandler nearly led them from a 13-0 deficit. The Panthers played horrible, scoring only three field goals. However, they are a better team than that, so look for the Falcons' nightmare season to get worse.

Gerry: I have my doubts about this one because RB Biakabutuka is kinda nicked up, and so are WRs Rae Carruth, Patrick Jeffers, and Muhsin Muhammad. But they'll still play, and that's all QB Steve Beuerlein needs. If he can pass, then Carolina will wear down Atlanta. This should be a lowwww-scoring game. TE Wesley Walls will be the only bright spot. He's a TD machine.

Rice: I never liked Carolina. They seem very inconsistent, but George Seifert is a proven veteren on the sidelines, that's why sometimes they seem brilliant. The Falcons' season is over. They have nothing to play for but for their pride. Plus they're at home. Upset baby!

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Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts
Gerry: Dallas
None: Indianapolis

Rice: Indianapolis

None: This is the most intriguing matchup of Week 8. The Colts have quietly been one of the most improved teams in the League, and played every single game close. The Cowboys seem to be the class of the NFC East, but have at times showed signs of falter. This game is huge, and the Colts can prove they're really for reals. I think they will.

Gerry: Deion against Harrison. Wow, what a matchup. Speed vs. Speed. Look for the Colts to move Harrison around to avoid Deion, but it ultimately won't work, as Harrison has a quiet game of "only" 80+ yards and a TD. Dallas, on the other hand, should be aggressive on offense, since Indy's prone to give up lots of points. But in this game, they won't remedy that by scoring even more points. Not against Dallas.

Rice: I've lost all respect for Dallas after they lost to the Eagles and Giants consecutively. The only reason why I picked them last week was because they were at home. Somehow they are tougher than nails there. Anyways, out of the confines, even Deion can't help their cause. Harrison is not the only receiver on the Colts offense. Manning is capable of getting it done.

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Jacksonville Jaguars @ Cincinnati Bengals
Gerry: Jacksonville
None: Jacksonville

Rice: Jacksonville

None: Cincinnati doesn't even deserve to be in the Arena Football League.

Gerry: I have a little more faith in Cincy than most people, but c'mon, the best team in the AFC coming off a bye vs. the AFC team that shoulda lost to Cleveland. No way. You can be outlandish. But not this outlandish. The bye couldn't have come at a better time, since it gave QB Mark Brunell and RB Fred Taylor time to heal. Look for a 300 yard game from Brunell.

Rice: What else can I say? This an immensely lopsided matchup, but Jacksonville must beware of a letdown. Do not play like you will win automatically. If they do, they will receive a scare from the Bengals, who suck, but are still part of the NFL. =)

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Cleveland Browns @ New Orleans Saints
Gerry: New Orleans
None: Cleveland

Rice: New Orleans

None: Haha. This Saints team sucks. Take Cleveland. Yay!

Gerry: Cleveland will win one of these days. Not this week though. Why? RB Ricky Williams. Everyone can rush on Cleveland. Even the worst backs. Not only that, everyone can go deep on Cleveland, and NO has 2 deep threats in WRs Eddie Kennison and Keith Poole. They also have a short threat in TE Cam Cleeland. Don't worry, the Saints will look good for once.

Rice: If New Orleans don't win this week, then Mike Ditka will be in some hot water. Ricky Williams is definitely a hard worker, and Ditka's favorite Saint. This will be a nice fat 100 yard game for Williams, provided he gets the carries.

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New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles
Gerry: Philadelphia
None: NY Giants

Rice: Philadelphia

None: The Giants finally had a coming out party of sorts last week, and they seem to be headed back up. The Eagles seem to play tough games against everyone, but can't score upwards of 13 points. The Giants should be able to top that. Yay.

Gerry: I know I blasted Philly and I swore I'd never take them again. But Rice has forced me to look at the situation realistically. It's really the idiot fans of Veteran Stadium that deserve my wrath. Then again, the fuckin mayor issued an apology that started off something like: "We all hate the Cowboys, especially me." Sigh. I do think Philly will win this game, esp. if they give QB McNabb some playing time. Philly's secondary should shut down the Giants' only offensive threat, their WRs. They don't have a running game to back it up.

Rice: I'm a dunce when it comes to these two teams, but with Philadelphia's surprising grittiness, I will go w/ the Eagles at home.

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San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs
Gerry: Kansas City
None: Kansas City

Rice: Kansas City

None: Damnit. Damnit. Damn San Diego embarassed me. Hmm...this is like only their 2nd or so road game, I think. They do have a excellent defense, but so do the Chiefs. And judging by the 35-8 destruction of the Ravens, Kansas City seems to have gotten a spark in their offense as well. Now, they return to Arrowhead. I think this might be a close game, but take the Chiefs.

Gerry: The Chargers' offense is probably the biggest tragedy in football. Because their defense has been fantastic, only to see their efforts wasted. But somehow, SD has only lost 2 games this year. Coulda sworn they lost more. This week they'll add another 1 to the Loss column, so it'll look more reasonable.

Rice: You know, today while walking back from lunch, I saw a volleyball player wearing a San Diego T-shirt stating '94 AFC-Champs. They've come a long way since then, haven't they? A long way down, that is. The Chiefs are a sleeper contender, and w/ Arrowhead stadium, SD doesn't stand a chance.

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St. Louis Rams @ Tennessee Titans
Gerry: Tennessee
None: St. Louis

Rice: St. Louis

None: A matchup of the two best teams in the National Football League. The Rams just keep rolling on and on, the the Titans do their jobs without much noise. I do think that the Ram offense is nearly unstoppable (uh-oh, remember last year's Vikings?) and their defense is good enough. Warner and the machine should keep on rolling. 7-0.

Gerry: It breaks my heart to go against the Rams, since they bring hope for all the losers in the world. But I think this will be the first and last game they lose this year. QB Steve McNair is probably the best QB the Rams will have faced up to now, and word has it he's been sharp. Tennessee's being at home is what ultimately swayed me. They have all the tools necessary to beat the Rams: solid defense, a big menacing RB in Eddie George, a 2-option QB in McNair (pass & run), a lethal WR tandem (Dyson & Thigpen), and the most prolific TE in years in Frank Wychek.

Rice: What else can I say that hasn't been said already about the Rams? They have been criticized (there are always something bad to say) for playing weak teams, but if they can withstand the storm this week AT the Titans, they are for reals.

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Chicago Bears @ Washington Redskins
Gerry: Washington
None: Washington

Rice: Washington

None: Heh. Cade McNown comes into town with his Bears searching desperating for an offense. They'll face this Washington defense that struggled mightily against Dallas in the 38-20 loss last week. Look for the Skins to come out swinging; both their losses have come against the Boys and they'll be pissed. McNown will finally get some tds in, but I think Washington will win big.

Gerry: Cade McNown has been benched for Shane Matthews, but hey, that ain't any better. WR Michael Westbrook has had 3 bad weeks in a row. Look for QB Brad Johnson to look for him often and early. WR Albert Connell has also emerged as a top notch go to guy for the Redskins. This game ideally should be a blow out, but Chicago plays w/ gutsiness, so look for upset possibilities.

Rice: I'm always wary of lopsided matchups, because there is always the possibility that the favorite will not practice as hard, or play w/ as much heart as they can. However, I must go with the Redskins, no matter how much my heart says Chicago. Washington needs this game to stay competitive.

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New England Patriots @ Arizona Cardinals
Gerry: New England
None: New England

Rice: New England

None: What else is new between these two teams? Bledsoe has no running game, and Arizona's still looking for an offense. Plummer, with this horrid offensive line, has not been the same quarterback he showed he could be last year. While the Patriots won't be able to go deep into the playoffs with Ben Coates playing horribly and no dependable running back, they should still torch this Arizona secondary.

Gerry: Arizona is doomed this week. No Jake Plummer = no offense. QB Dave Brown ain't bad, but the New England defense ain't all that bad either. Look for NE to actually run the ball w/ authority, as they did against Denver last week. If Jake Plummer were here, I'd take the Cards for sure. But sadly, I must take the overachieving Patriots here.

Rice: See previous analysis of Chi. @ Wash.... same situation, but the Patriots are contending for 1st place. I am tempted to say blowout, but for some reason, the Patriots defense haven't been clicking on all cylinders.

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Miami Dolphins @ Oakland Raiders
Gerry: Miami
None: Oakland

Rice: Oakland

None: This game is huge for both teams, so huge I proclaim it 'the proving ground' (da da da) The 4-3 Raiders need to win this one at home, especially against a team without Marino. Damon Huard has done an admirable job filling it, but if he beat the Eagles by only 3 last week, how's he going to fare in front of the Oakland faithful? Rich Gannon engineered a beautiful comeback against the Jets last week, despite 8 dropped passes total. I promise it won't happen. Silver and Black in a squeaker.

Gerry: Remember this name- Olindo Mare. He's been the Dolphins' best offensive weapon this season. Sad, considering he's a kicker. But I see a FG determining this game, and Mare has been solid. QB Rich Gannon is hurt for the Raiders, and so is RB Tyrone Wheatley. But Gannon's injury is the most catastrophic for the Raiders, since he's been the nerve center for their offense. Miami will win this game, although they don't deserve it.

Rice: Gannon is questionable for this game, but one thing that everyone is overlooking is Tim Brown's superb achievements this season. He has caught all his passes when it counted the most, and is probably the most valuable player to the Raiders. Yes, even more so than Gannon, because without Brown, he would have no goto guy. Jett is too much of a butterfinger.

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Minnesota Vikings @ Denver Broncos
Gerry: Minnesota
None: Minnesota

Rice: Denver

None: Ah, what should have been last year at the Super Bowl. The Broncos seem to have finally gotten some life in them with their games against the Packers and that 1 point loss at New England. Minnesota finally got their game rolling against the 49ers. The Broncos are playing at home, and that should make some kind of difference... Hmm, this isn't as easy as you might think. Ah, take the Vikings, cuz I like Jeff George.

Gerry: The Vikings' offense looks really good w/ George at the helm. Screw Randall. I've been blasting that geezer since Week 1. He just heaves it into the air! That's it! At least George rockets his passes right into the receiver's numbers. But what I don't like is how George doesn't look for Moss enough. He needs to go to Moss to win this game against a scrappy Bronco team that has too much pride to lay down and die.

Rice: I realized that this entire season, I have NEVER won the game that I picked if the Vikings are involved. If I picked them, they lost. If I picked against them, they won. That's bull. However, I refuse to believe in voodoo power, and this Denver team has nothing to lose anymore. Griese is maturing so fast. Best rookie QB this season. Forget McNabb, or McNown... Akili? Nope. The name is Griese. Plus they're at Mile High, and that's homefield advantage if I've ever seen one.

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Tampa Bay @ Detroit Lions
Gerry: Tampa Bay
None: Detroit

Rice: Tampa Bay

None: The Bucs are like the NFC version of the Chargers. 6-3 against the Bears? Damn, that's one hell of an ugly game. Trent Dilfer needs to go, and Tony Dungy finally decided to start Eric Zeier. Still, I think the Lions can take care of them. Detroit has a solid offense, and a solid defense. Tampa Bay has no offense, and a great offense. What good is a defense when you're not scoring? Take the Lions at home.

Gerry: The Bucs will get to QB Charlie Batch often, since Detroit has given up like 20 sacks this year already. Eric Zeier is 10x better than Dilfer, and won't be too scared to actually pass downfield. This game will be close however, since Detroit's D is underrated. But ultimately, TB's defense is just too fortress-like, and Detroit won't be able to move the ball at all.

Rice: Yes! Finally! Get the hell outta there Trent. Perhaps Dungy does read Rice World? Har har... Anyways, the first time I saw Zeier at Georgia I was amazed at his powerful arm. Give him a chance, and he will perform. I swear to it. Let him go deep with Reidel Anthony, and combine that w/ the Bucs' suffocating defense, Detroit doesn't stand a chance in the Silverdome.

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Seattle Seahawks @ Green Bay Packers
Gerry: Seattle
None: Green Bay

Rice: Green Bay

None: Wow. This is a tough one to pick. Both teams rebounded from tough losses two weeks ago (Seattle dominating the Bills after losing to the Chargers, The Packers destroying the Chargers after losing to the Broncos) Seattle showed me some offense, and the Packers just ripped apart the SD defense (although 6 inteceptions didn't hurt...stupid sobs...anyways...) In Green Bay, it's still hard to beat Favre and the boys. What's my prediction? Another last minute drive pulls it out.

Gerry: This will be one huge upset. No one knows the Packers better than Mike Holmgren, and WR Derrick Mayes really wants to stick it to Ray Rhodes, who traded him after a fall out. The key to this game is QB Jon Kitna, who will be going up against a tough, but not infallible Packers' D. I'd say this is an overtime sudden death FG affair.

Rice: Holmgren and Favre. What history they have together. I was on the verge of choosing the Seahawks, when I realized the Packers are at home. Green Bay is tougher than old leather there. This will be one fun as hell game to watch. No way Green Bay will lose this one.

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{ Bye week }
None: OVERALL ANALYSIS- Alright, guys, I'm lazy this week, but focusing on about half the games (the ones I like) did save me a lot of time. Anyways, this weekend should be a good week of football, so enjoy. Hmm, I have a 3 day weekend, so maybe I'll finally get some much-needed rest. Next week'll be good.

Gerry: OVERALL ANALYSIS- I'm speeding through my analysis right now because I have to take a dump real bad.


None's LOCK OF THE WEEK: Indianapolis Colts -> While Dallas has looked like an efficient machine at times, the steady Colts will surprise them at home. This is more of an 'upset pick,' but I'm willing to use this as my lock. "And a lad shall lead them..."
Gerry's LOCK OF THE WEEK: Baltimore Ravens -> Shit, I was looking all over for a pick that wouldn't seem too wussy. TB looked good, but that's wussy. Miami looked good, but I'm scared of the Raiders. So lo and behold, I've locked against the Bills once again. =) Personal vendetta aside, I really have to go w/ Baltimore's underrated D this week vs. a Beefalo team that can't run the ball if their testicles depended on it.
Rice's LOCK OF THE WEEK: Green Bay Packers -> Brett Favre's da man. When you need him most, he will deliver. Fans at Lambeau this Monday night are in for a good treat.