E P I S O D E --I : --P O D --R A C E R
7-02-'99 / 09:07.36 P.M.

Whipped up this quick review as something for y'all to read while I hack away at that 3rd Generation Video Card round-up article. Click!

Hey, Dow Jones hit a new record! Okay... I can see you guys don't give a flying fudge. Me neither.

Summer movies are starting to heat up. South[park] vs. [Wild Wild] West this weekend baby! I heared WWW sucked some pretty heavy balls, though. Anybody seen that yet? I know Southpark is full of cuss words and obscene material. It's the only cartoon that I know of that received an R rating. It was actually tagged with NC-17 until they toned it down a bit. Wheee! Let's all go see it!

More Canada stuff: My cousin up there drove an Audi A4 Turbo. Very cool car. German, of course, since Audi's the luxury edition of the Volkswagon. One notable thing about it is that it sports the Tiptronic transmission, previously seen only on Porches. You can actually shift gears manually without a clutch, and if you're too lazy to reach down to the shifter, you can shift by pressing buttons on the steering wheel. Totally badass.... I'm gonna get myself one of those babies right after I pick up that BMW I've been eyeing. Heh... ya right, once I win the lottery, I mean.

On a side note, they also drive a 2000 edition Acura 3.2TL... which also allows manual shifting without a clutch. However, that's not tiptronic, it's called the SportsShift for the Acura. Also, you don't get the nifty steering wheel shifters like the Audi. But man, the 3.2TL is only 27,000 dollars! What a bloody bargain!!! Heh... I'm speaking like I have that kind of dough... I drive a P.O.S. Camry bought for less than 20 grand... er.. that I share with my Mom. Dammit! =)

Until next time!

% * ! ( @ ) # * % * ( @
6-30-'99 / 07:06.54 P.M.

Ugh...........

Thanks to Gerry, I now have a mouthful of coke splattered across my monitor. Reminder to self: never take a sip of anything while re-visiting Rice World after a vacation.......

Hahahahaha.... but gawd damn man, I think I laughed myself sick!!!!!! My stomach is still freakin' hurting from laughing so hard. Hahaha... =)

Ya know, I sorta had an inkling that Gerry would totally flip Rice World upside down. I dunno what I was thinking when I let Gerry have access to the sacred vaults of Rice World. It's sort of like giving Satan the throne of heaven.....

Ah well, I haven't laughed this hard since Leonardo DiCaprio died in TITANIC....... Heh heh.... J/K, y'all know I love Leonardo, right? =)

Well, Canada was pretty fun, although sometimes pretty boring too. I lived for the past week in the greater Vancouver area, in the province of British Columbia. By far the best part of the trip was the trip to the Rocky Mountains. I'll be sure to post up some scanned photos after I develop the film. We went east from Vancouver and settled down around the border of B.C. and Alberta. The highlight of the trip was Day 2, when we went to Moraine Lake and later on lived in the stunningly gorgious Chateau Lake Louise, which means the Castle of Lake Louise. If you have never heard of Lake Louise, look it up. It's absolutely breath-taking. The post cards you see of it do it no justice. Even though it rained the entire motherfreakin' time up there, it was still a knock-out.

Tell y'all more about the trip later. I'm freakin' starving. I need some grub...

N B A  D R A F T  '9 9
6-30-'99 / 04:21.69 A.M.

Well, it's one of my favorite times of the year! NBA Draft time!! Ever since I was a young un and started collecting basketball cards, I've always been fascinated by the draft. I remember collecting the #1 Draft Pick cards of Derrick Coleman and feeling all jazzed up. #2 was Gary Payton, #3 Chris Jackson (Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf)...... and so on. I've memorized the lottery of every draft since. Ok, maybe not, but at least the top 5 picks.

You see, the NBA Draft is a convergence of two of my favorite sports-- Men's College B-ball, and the NBA. I get to see the players I've watched since they were freshmen reaching the next level. And damn, I sure have fun trying to project the picks. I guess you can say I've developed into a draft junkie.

Here's my projection for today's lottery picks, to be held at the MCI Center in Washington DC:

1.) CHICAGO BULLS - Lamar Odom, RHODE ISLAND; "Krumbs" Krause will probably trade this pick. I hate how teams trade draft picks. Totally screws up projections. Lamar Odom does everything on the court. Plus he's tall and works hard. The only thing in question is whether he's ready for the NBA.

2.) VANCOUVER GRIZZLIES - Elton Brand, DUKE; Again, this pick might the traded. Brand brings big beef to whatever teams he  goes to. He's 6'8" but his wingspan is 7'5". What a gorilla.

3.) CHARLOTTE HORNETS - Steve Francis, MARYLAND; They want a PG. And while Francis might not be the best pure PG, he's definitely the most flashy and explosive. Capable of bringing the crowd to its feet. He's got a mad vertical.

4.) LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS - Baron Davis, UCLA; Damn the Clippers are so lucky to get Baron at this pick. Plus he's actually willing to play for them. Naturally, I tend to favor Baron because he hails from my own school.

5.) TORONTO RAPTORS - Andre Miller, UTAH; The Raptors also need a PG. I think they'll choose the steadier, bigger veteran Miller over other PGs like William Avery and Jason Terry. Andre Miller was a 5th year senior!

6.) MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES - Wally Szczerbiak, MIAMI (OH); Wally World's moving up north! I think this pick might be traded away as well. Wally World's such a smooth scorer. If he does go to Minnesota, they'll forget Tom Gugliotta in a heartbeat.

7.) WASHINGTON WIZARDS - Richard Hamilton, UCONN; Mitch Richmond's history, so they need another scorer/shooter. Hamilton's better than Mitch at slashing too, so he'll be a better fit. Needs bulk though.

8.) CLEVELAND CAVALIERS - Corey Magette, DUKE; He's freaking talented at the SG. Every time he got playing time he did something crazy amd freakin rained on the other team. The only downside is his lack of experience and maturity.

9.) PHOENIX SUNS - Alek Radojevic, BARTON COUNTY J.C.; They need a C pretty bad. Luc Longley was a total bomb. What the hell were they thinking? Well, this dude is 7'3"! Tallest brotha on the draft board, I believe. That's about all I know about him.

10.) ATLANTA HAWKS (from GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS) - William Avery, DUKE; They traded Mookie Blaylock for this pick, so duh they're gonna get a PG. If not Avery, then Jason Terry of ARIZONA.

11.) CLEVELAND CAVALIERS - Ron Artest, ST. JOHN'S; If I have any complaint about Artest it's that his shorts are too shorts. He's like the only black dude in high waters this day and age. Weird. But besides that, he's an awesom scorer down in the post. Big guy, but also quick.

12.) TORONTO RAPTORS - Jonathan Bender, PICAYUNE H.S.; People have been comparing him to Kevin Garnett. Well, he'll probably never be Garnett, but I do believe he'll be solid. Haven't seen him much except for once when he came to UCLA. Oh my goodness, NBA, watch out.

13.) SEATTLE SUPERSONICS - Evan Eschmeyer, NORTHWESTERN; Seattle has never had a  good center. Eschmeyer has proven he can rebound and shoot. Except white boy Cs usually turn into busts. Oh well. He's much better than the other big C left, Todd MacCullough. That dude is a freakin troll-ogre.

- Well, those are my picks. Keep in mind it's based on the current positions of the teams and disregarding upcoming draft day moves.

- Feel free to post your own picks in the Message Board!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd like to welcome Rice back. I hope the trip was fun. It was fun raiding Rice World for a week. I liked it. Heh heh. I don't know if you can say the same Rice!

Anyways, this'll probably be the last blurb I do for a while. After this, it's back to review/article writing. Once I can get out of the house and go to a freakin movie!!!

Signing off.......... it was all a dream..................... it was all a dream.................de de du, de  de du, de de due (like Wayne's World)

B I G  D A D D Y
6-28-'99 / 10:52.69 P.M.

Holy shittake mushrooms. BIG DADDY was the number one grossing movie last weekend. Not only that, it was the largest non-sequel opener ever for a comedy, w/ a $41.2 million take. There's just something about Adam Sandler. People love him. They're devoted to him. I for one, like his work, except for the sentimental stuff like WEDDING SINGER. Well, I heard BIG DADDY was along those lines, so hmmmmm............

Here's Sygyzy's opinion on BIG DADDY. Click!

In other news:

- Who won the Stanley Cup again? Does anyone care? Is it still going on? Hockey sucks.

- Soccer. Oh man, that's even worse. But it's fun to root for the US Women. Mia Hamm is pretty good. She could whup Michael Jordan's ass, as we saw in that Gatorade commercial.

- Hooray! THAT 70's SHOW is back on Mondays! Fox has the best animation lineup ever too. THE SIMPSONS, FUTURAMA, FAMILY GUY, THE PJ'S, KING OF THE HILL........... I love those shows.

- Anna Paquin (that little girl from THE PIANO) is officially gonna play Rogue in the upcoming X-Men movie. Hmmmm, I dunno what to make of that casting choice. I think she grew by now, so who knows.

- Everyone visit lordoftherings.net for glimpses of the upcoming trilogy of Tolkien's beloved novels. The artwork and its portrayal on the screen are jaw-dropping. I'm psyched.

- Did you know dueling in Paraguay is legal as long as both parties are registered blood donors?

- If the entire population of China walked past you in the single file line, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. Oh yeah, China has more English speakers than the US too. Damn that country's so fucked up. They oughta keep their grubby paws off our nuclear secrets.

1 9 9 9  N B A  C H A M P I O N S ! ! !
6-26-'99 / 08:34.69 P.M.

Rice usually does a small pictorial commemoration of major sports events, so here is my sorry attempt to follow in his footsteps. Click!

It was a good Finals, actually. Finally, no Michael Jordan and the Bulls. It was good seeing someone else winning the championship for once over the last what, 8 years? The 2 that the Rockets won were on loan from Chicago. =)   (jab at Rice's favorite team)

Tim Duncan is da man. He got the Finals MVP, and thoroughly deserved it. Not only did he put up Wilt-like stats, he also played great D. Imagine driving past David Robinson only to find Duncan in  your face. Scary.

But the unsung hero has to be Avery Johnson. I don't really like him. I think he looks funny, talks funny, and has too much swagger. But damn, he's always there when you need him. And his leadership is precisely what a championship team needs.

Oh yeah, the multi-talented reviewer Sygyzy has written, or is writing, a BIG DADDY review. Look for it one of these days. I apologize for the wait. Apparently, he's not as satisfied as I would be with a half-assed effort. =)

F U D G E  M E  I N   T H E  R E C T A L  C A V I T Y
6-25-'99 / 09:18.69 P.M.

Shit. Yesterday I tore my MCL (medial collateral ligament) while playing ball @ Almansor. Goddamn it. I blocked this dude, and when I landed, his knee crashed into the side of my knee while my foot was still planted. Damn it. Why does this shit always happen to me. Now I got this huge cast thingy. Fuck me. Oh well. I'll heal. And I'll be right back on the basketball court.

Congratulations to the San Antonio Spurs, the 1999 NBA Champions. David Robinson finally got his ring. Now he won't be called a candyass anymore. But you gotta admit, before this season he was kind of a softie. He's freakin chiseled, but afraid to use those muscles. But I saw something different this year. He had an edge. A nastier streak. I this is because he was jealous of Tim Duncan grabbing his spotlight. But now, he can finally go down as one of the best centers ever.

I appreciate everything I've been seeing in the message board. Thanks to everyone who had enough testicles to post something. If anyone would like to write a formal review for anything, just e-mail me the text and I'll take care of the pics and layout and stuff. Especially for movies like THE GENERAL'S   DAUGHTER, which seems horribly reminiscent of RISING SUN and THE DISTINIGUISHED GENTLEMAN, which I'd never ever watch.

Is the stuff I've done to Rice World outrageous enough? I'm trying to keep it clean enough for FortuneCity, but also offensive enough to Rice so he'll faint when he gets back.

Since I'm in pain right now and not in the mood to do another poll, I'll just  declare the winner of the Rice World Bitch Contest #1 as Jennifer Love Hewitt, who narrowly edged out Laetitia Casta. Here is the nude we've all been waiting for. =) These are screenshots from some movie where we get a rare glimpse of Jennifer Love Hewitt nipples. DROOL OVER HERE!

If you wanna see a nude fake, then DROOL HERE INSTEAD!

R O U N D  # 2
6-24-'99 / 01:35.69 P.M.

Looks like the 3 chicks moving to the next round are Laetitia, Nikki, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Sadly, Salma and Jenny didn't get any votes. Don't worry babes, there's always a home for you in my bed....

You know what pissed me off? The FreePolls people didn't let me include the word "bitch" in my polls. I had to make it "babe" instead. What the hell. Damn those bitch-ass sons of bitches' bitches.

In other news:

- I think it's time to start hanging up the championship banner in San Antonio. Damn, the Spurs would suck if they lost just one of the Twin Towers. Duncan can't function w/o the Admiral, and vice versa. The rest of the team is full of a bunch of crappy role players that would sit on the bench if on any other team.

- Hingis lost!!! Damn..... I never got to see her in action too. Oh well. I didn't pick her to win. I picked Venus Williams. If I met Venus in a dark alley, I'm sure she could kick my ass. Buff chick.

- For men's, I gotta go w/ Pete Sampras. He's da man. He's why I use a one-handed backhand still.

- TARZAN got good reviews and good box office. Should I go watch it? Has anyone seen it yet? Give a short review in the message board. It's an easy process. Don't be afraid.

- Hmmm, Rice wanted me to talk about tech more...... after all, the original Rice World was supposed to be about computers and what not. Ok. Let's talk tech. Did you know, in 4000 years no new animal has been domesticated? Sorry, that's about all I know about cutting edge technology.

- Did you know that nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously? Or that humans eat an average of 8 spiders in their lifetime while asleep? Cool huh....

 

Ok, now that I've sickened everyone, without further ado........... the Babe Contest!

The Inaugural Rice World Babe Contest

Rice World Babe Contest #1- ROUND 2

Laetitia Casta
Nikki Cox
Jennifer Love Hewitt

H O O T E R S ! ! !
6-23-'99 / 05:48.69 P.M.

Ok, it has come to my attention that some of you guys don't know who the hell Laetitia Casta is. I suggest you bust out a Victoria's Secret catalog, and she's the one w/ the biggest tits and prettiest face. I'll provide a SMALL gallery for each chick in the poll.

Thanks to None's suggestion, I will now institute a babe contest that will last this entire week. Read his comments in the Message Board. It's linked on the left. It seems like no one knows where the hell it is. C'mon, write something.

Ok, the 5 chicks will be narrowed down to 3 in a couple days, and then 2, and we will announce a winner. The chick that wins gets to have a nude picture published on Rice World. And if she ain't got nudes, then I'll put up a good quality nude fake, which is just as good, right? Heh heh. Rice would be turning over in his grave right about now............ if he were dead that is............

Here is the inaugural Rice World Bitch Contest #1............. I'll stick a few pics per woman.......

Laetitia Casta- #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6

Salma Hayek- #1 #2 #3

Jenny McCarthy- #1 #2

Nikki Cox- #1 #2 #3

Jennifer Love Hewitt #1 #2

G E R R Y   W O R L D
6-22-'99 / 10:29.69 P.M.

Heh heh heh. My aspirations for a complete Rice World take-over is finally coming to fruition. While Rice is in Cańada (pronounced like La Cańada), Rice World will now become Gerry World.

I want everyone to start having a forum on cool guy stuff. I guess techno-jibberish is OK, since right now I really need a MOD chip for my Playstation real badly. Can anyone hook me up? Let's talk games! What's better Syphon Filter or Metal Gear Solid?

But besides video games, there will be only talk of sports and chicks and cool entertainment tidbits. We will be homophobic, raunchy, and, most of all, the anti-Rice Worlders. No no no, I don't mean we'll start hating this site and start burning crosses on Rice's lawn. I mean we will enter the DARK SIDE. No censorship, no rules. Heh heh heh.

First item of business. I'm gonna require you guys to be as honest as possible. You will need to pour your soul into this. This is equivalent to going in front of God on Judgement Day (ok, I just damed myself for eternity). This is a question that haunts humanity. It puzzles the most brilliant thinkers. Einstein died still trying to figure this out. Here it is:

-=Mankind's Most Perplexing Puzzle=-

If only allowed to choose one, whom would you rather do?

C A N A D A
6-21-'99 / 10:00.39 P.M.

I'll be off to Vancouver for the next week or so (until the 30th) for family vacation. So it'll be up to Gerry to hold the Rice World boat for a while. He's still in Vegas as of now, I believe.....

Damn it's going to be so cold up there..... I don't know what I'm gonna do...........

Rice World's been so quiet lately... where is everyone?! =)

G R O O V Y  B A B Y, Y E A H !!
6-19-'99 / 10:08.69 P.M.

Gerry "Danger's my middle name" here:

Read my AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME review. Click!

G L O S S A R Y --A R T I C L E ?
6-16-'99 / 07:47.01 P.M.

This is from a suggestion from Gerry. I was just wondering, would you guys like to have an article that more or less explains all the geeky talk I spew out sometimes? I can write out definitions and examples for terms such as AGP or .18 micron or Socket/Slot... If so, can you guys submit ideas on the different terminologies that you would like to know about? You can e-mail or dump it in the message board. If not.... well... I can still individually answer questions. =)

Such as... "Hey Rice, can you tell me what the hell 810 or 820 is?"

G E E K --T A L K
6-16-'99 / 07:47.01 P.M.

I'm going to blabber on about some new developments in the industry, so those not interested in computer hardware etc. you can feel free to tune me out. =)

I've been dipping myself into the AMD pool lately... it seems like that's the best chip to opt for when building a computer for a person that really doesn't crave much gaming, and uses the computer mostly for Internet / Microsoft Office stuff. I'm quite impressed with the K6-3 performance on the business front, with their 256Kb on-die cache they are unmatched by even the Pentium III's! The problem is that they require a Super7 motherboard, in contrast to the BX or LX based motherboards used by Intel. Super7 is basically a motherboard utilizing Socket7 technology with capabilities of running at 100 MHz Front Side Bus or above. It seems that Super7 motherboards are very unstable in contrast to the Intel motherboards, plus there are a lot less selections for it. So far it seems ASUS's P5A Super7 motherboard is the best choice for users that want a standard sized ATX motherboard, but I'm still researching on that. Oh, and there are basically two chips that run the motherboard: the ALi Aladdin V and the VIA MVP3. This is really quite interesting than the molopoly and no-brainer choices that Intel offers. Plus, it's a fresh breath of air to actually research on AMD rather than Intel all the time. A monopoly is boring.

There seems to be a lot of hype generated around the new K7 that AMD will be releasing. AMD has had a history of tardies in releasing their new chips, and K7 looks as if they will be mass produced in around Fall...... starting at 550 MHz. That's the bad news. Even though all the preliminary benchmarks show that the K7 outperform the PIII in every single aspect, 550 MHz just won't cut it. Intel will have released Coppermine by then, their new 0.18 micron chips that will run on 133 MHz Front Side Bus and high speed RDRAM. That's 600 MHz and above. Mark this down folks, interesting times await in the industry when Fall rolls around.

Speaking of Intel, they're not all quiet themselves. Check out the table I blatently ripped from Tom's Hardware Guide... hope he doesn't mind! =)

Core Name Processor Name Explanation Die-Technology
Klamath Pentium II 233 - 300 Pentium II core .33µ
Deschutes Pentium II 300 - 450,

Celeron 266, 300

Mobile Pentium II 233 - 300

Pentium II core .25µ
Mendocino Celeron 300A - 500,

Mobile Celeron 266 - 400

Pentium II core

+

128 kB on-die L2 cache

.25µ
Dixon Mobile Pentium II 266 PE - 400 Pentium II core

+

256 kB on-die L2 cache

.25µ, partly .18µ
Katmai Pentium III 500 - 600 Pentium II core

+

Streaming SIMD Extensions

.25µ
Coppermine Pentium III 550 - 800 Pentium II core

+

Streaming SIMD Extensions

+

256 kB on-die L2-cache

.18µ
Coppermine-128 Celeron 550 - ... Pentium II core

+

Streaming SIMD Extensions

+

128 kB on-die L2-cache

.18µ

Okay, that's for all of you that are confused on the code-named crapper people are throwing around. I find it very useful. =)

Anyways, it seems as if Intel is going to kill the slot-1 styles of their chips and go back to Sockets. Actually, the new Celerons use sockets, known as the Socket-370 (different from Socket-7's, so don't try to ram a S370 Celeron into your old Socket7 motherboard). They're cheaper to manufacture, and don't take as much space as the Slot-1, which are cartridges. Socket chips are just chips... you know, little square sided thingies with lots of pins underneath them. Look for the new Coppermines that run on 133 FSB, such as 666 MHz chips to use Socket-style. I believe Xeons will still use Slot, because of their huge cache sizes that need to be protected in cartridges.

I'll end this long rant with the new Intel Willamette. It's also a code-name, but it marks a new generation for Intel... their 7th-Generation chip. You won't find it on the charts above, because it's actually very new info that people don't know much about. Preliminary reports say that it'll run on a .13 micron sized chip, and be much more advanced than anything we have now. This'll be like the transition between the 486 to the Pentium. Remember those days? Pentium power was so much more than weak 486's. Imagine.... Pentium III as "weak".........