R O U N D --T H E --R I C E
I'm sure all of you have noticed: the message board has been hosed. I have contacted the administrator of Beseen.com (the host of my messageboard) and they have promised to fix the situation as soon as possible. Hang tight fella's! Thanks for the people that notified me in the first place. =)
Date sent: 31 May
1999 00:23:06 -0000
P H A N T O M --M E N
A C E --R E V I E W
If you're wondering what the hell I'm doing updating at 2 o'clock in the morning, it's because I've just received a massive transfer from Senior Staff writer Gerry Wang. The transfer itself was none other than the Star Wars: Episode One review, and after reading it, I absolutely cannot sleep without posting it up immediately. Do yourself a favor... if you've never read an article / review on Rice World, and don't ever plan to, read this one. Do humanity a favor and tell everyone you know to read it. I would pay you if I had the resources, but alas... you get my meaning. Here's a short snip:
_____Well, last Saturday I finally got to see STAR WARS: EPISODE 1- THE PHANTOM MENACE, on a 60-foot screen, which left me in a state of total flabbergastedment when I left the theater. My pants were soiled, as usual when I watch awesome movies, but this time the load I deposited was extra steamy. The drool coming out out of my mouth was extra frothy. My eyes were bugged out an extra couple inches. This is because THE PHANTOM MENACE is an extraordinary movie. It is unlike anything I've ever seen before as a mortal. It's a movie alright, but it's a movie that seems to have its own dimension, it's own plane of reality........ It's like a surreal out of body experience. This is very difficult to explain.
... so difficult, as a matter of fact, that it added up to a 5 page review. You may want to grab a beer and some popcorn before you sit down to read this one, because I guarentee once you start, you won't stop until the end. This baby is chock full of clipart, too. Click!
Y O U R --S T A
R --W A R S --N A M E
Check this out... this is real dope:
Someone posted the following in the
rec.music.dementia newsgroup. It's reposted here for your amusement. Enjoy.
I'm Eriwu Hstao! Does that sound like a Jedi or what? Har har...
O W E N --H A R
T --D I E S
I know what you're thinking now. You're thinking, "Who the blood is Owen Hart?". To answer your question, Owen Hart was a professional wrestler for the WWF. You know, those head bashing macho stunt scripted shows they have to Pay Per View once in a while. Well, here's proof that professional wrestling has gone too far. Yesterday, Owen Hart (a.k.a. Blue Blazer) was making a dramatic entrance into the ring by being lowered from the ceiling, when all of the sudden the rope snapped and he fell 50 feet down onto the ring. His head hit the buckle that holds the rings together and snapped his neck. He was dead before he knew it. The live audience was shell-shocked. Many thought it was part of the stunt, but after a few minutes after the paramedics arrived, he was pronounced dead.
Truly a sad moment for the entertainment industry. Put yourself in Owen Hart's shoes. If you were doing a routine entrance from the roof, and all of the sudden, your life just vanishes. Your children, your family, your friends. All gone. Poof. All in a split second when your head smashes the buckle and your neck snaps back and dislocates your life functions.
Sigh. There are things that need to be done. How can we live in a world like this?
L A K E R S --S W E
P T !
So much for the season of the Lakers huh? They were magnificent against the Rockets, but returned to their own self against the Spurs. Too bad...
Speaking of swept, Indiana brushed by Iverson and the Sixers. Shows that a solid team with good coaching and good chemistry beats out a flashy player that can score 50 million points.
The Knicks... aren't they a surprise? Who'd have thought? How old is Ewing now? 65? They're on the verge of a sweep!
What a joy to watch the NBA. Just like day-time soap opera.
E P I S O D E --O N E
--M I N I --R E V I E W
*Disclaimer* May or may not contain spoiler elements. Read at your own risk!
A quick note to all of the critics of THE PHANTOM MENACE that gave the movie a 40 out of 100 or a 2 out of 5 and said how this movie sucked like Armageddon, yadda yadda: WE DON'T CARE!!!!
I managed to squeeze in time for Episode I today, and my gosh, I was completely blown away. George Lucas has created himself the best Episode yet out of the Star Wars franchise, with modern day computer effects that puts movies like STARSHIP TROOPERS and WING COMMANDER to shame. Now, no movie is, and will ever be, good enough to get me to stand in line a month and a half before it comes out just to get tickets for the first day, but this was the first movie that I specifically went to a higher-class theatre just to watch it in its full glory. It's analogous to playing a graphically intense game on a low-end computer system; you've got to watch the best movie under the best possible circumstance... but I digress.
There were two scenes in the movie that I loved to death. The pod racing clip with Anakin Skywalker, and the final light-sabre duel scene with Darth Maul. Both left my two palms shaking and damp with sweat. The racer's pods were lightning fast, and the in-camera shots made me feel like I was watching IMAX. Darth Maul's light-quarterstaff was infinitely cool, and the Qui-Gon / Obi-Wan combo attacks were fast and furious, like Chinese movie sword fights. None of that slow-motion wussy stuff.
New characters from George Lucas's creative mind did not disappoint. Jar Jar Binks was completely computer animated, and it was awesome how his character movement was so fluid and well integrated into film itself. The underwater fishes were absolutely menacing. I swear I was going to wet my pants when I saw the great jaws of the fish closing in on the silver screen. Last but not least there was the beautiful Queen Amidala (without all that white make-up on). Maybe because she's around my age, or maybe because she's got large, soft brown eyes, whatever the reason is... Natalie Portman melts my heart. You can check her out in the Top 10 Obscure Beauties article, except that she's no longer obscure.
There wasn't much that I could pick on about the movie. I guess the only thing that sorta bugs me is why the hell didn't Qui-Gon vanish when he died? Aren't all Jedi's supposed to become "one with the force" and become "more poweful than you can possibly imagine" when they die? Remember Episode IV, when Darth Vader cuts down Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan's body disappears and his clothes sorta drop down in a heap on the floor. Can any Star Wars junkie explain that to me please? And another thing, is it me, or does knowing that little innocent boy Anakin Skywalker will one day have sex with Queen Amidala makes me feel queasy? I had goosebumps forming watching those two eye each other in a flirtatious manner. Ugh...
Too bad we have to wait until "200-freakin'-2" until Episode II comes out. And to those critics that gave bad scores to the Phantom Menace just because they want to go against the population and be unique and nitpick little microscopic plot holes and whine about how character development was so shallow just so they can get ratings exposure... DON'T GO FREAKIN' WATCH THE SECOND FREAKIN' EPISDODE THEN! Stay home and entertain yourselves by whatever sick way you do instead.
That's my humble two cents. =)
P H A N T O M --M E N
A C E
Wow! It broke the 1-day box office record held previously by THE LOST WORD: JURASSIC PARK. I heard the total earnings of the Phantom Menace tallied up to around 28 million dollars. Considering it was released on a Wednesday, that's a phenomenal figure. THE LOST WORLD was released on Memorial weekend, and therefore it got a lot of exposure to people that didn't have to work or go to school. Imagine the revenues the PHANTOM MENACE would have pulled in if it was released this weekend instead. Wow!
Personally, I haven't seen it yet. Planning to cram it in my weekend, but if that's not possible, then I won't be able to see it until next weekend. It seems Gerry is also bogged down with term papers and finals, so a review is out of the question until either one of us watches it.
Sigh... Ce la vie!
E A R L Y --S T A
Well, looks like the originally planned release date of this weekend got bumped a bit early. Hopefully I have uploaded all the correct files to the server. If you find any glitch or mistake, please notify my ASAP. Hm... for a grand opening, watch for more movie reviews to come very soon from none other than Gerry himself, and I'm also trying to secure a console article for Rice World in the near future. Stay tuned...
R I C E --W O R
L D --V 2 . 0
Hey fella's, Rice World is back with a new (and hopefully better) look. Please give me your opinions on the site, compare it to before, etc... With this new design I hope to have integrated a new look, yet remain faithful to the old "format" that makes browsing this site effortless. Remember, please give me feed back either via the "Msg Board" or e-mail!
P.S. Don't forget to download the new font pack, located in the "Files" section. It's critical to get the maximum bang for this site... unless, of course, you already have the fonts on your computer. The list of fonts used is also located in the "Files" section, plus the intro page.